Its a girl!

On this day last year, we discovered we were expecting a little girl. I cried tears of joy when we found out. I couldn't believe how lucky we were to have one of each. After the absolute shambles that was our anomaly scan we booked a private scan, I was so thankful to have a decent photograph of our baby to share with people. And the bonus was she was a girl! I wanted a little girl so desperately, a little lady to buy pretty dresses for and play dolls with (yes, I am one of THOSE mums!). I imagined a bossy little madam charging around the house, making us play mummys and daddys, making up dance routines, writing and performing terrible songs that we'd think were fantastic regardless. I imagined her teenage years, the endless arguments we'd have over the amount of make up she deemed necessary, whether high heeled school shoes were suitable or not. I laughed as I remembered my teenage years and thought "great stuff, I have all that to come!". I imagined her blossoming into a young woman, helping her with her university application, shopping trips, relationship advice, weddings, babies. I vowed that my daughter and I would have a relationship very much like the one I have with my mum. My mum is my best friend, she knows absolutely everything there is to know about me, I do not know what I would do without her. I prayed that Anna would feel that way about me. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that in all likeliness, these things won't happen. It breaks my heart that my little girl won't grow up to do the things she was supposed to do. We'll rewrite our future of course, only time will tell how much she will be able to do. And it will still be filled with happiness and love. Just in a different way to how we imagined. And as my mum so beautifully put it, she'll be our very own little Peter Pan, the girl who doesn't grow up. 

Anna had her sweat test for cystic fibrosis 2 weeks ago. We've heard nothing yet, I'm hoping no news means good news. Yesterday we received copies of the referral letters to the ophthalmologist and the neurologist. On one of these letters, we have the correct term for her brain malformation - polymicrogyria. In addition to this, there are cysts present. We have the appointment with the neurologist in just over a week, so hopefully we'll learn a little more then. Physiotherapy seems to be going okay, Anna's upper body strength does seem to be improving slightly. I've had to rearrange the audiology review due to personal circumstances, but she appears to be hearing more these days too. Its a busy week again this week appointment wise. I probably won't post again until after we've seen the neurologist. I just wanted to say thank you all again for all of the support and love thats been sent our way, its times like these you realised how lovely people are.